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back when i was a cop in the bronx
August 3rd, 2010 by micah the admin

I’m waiting in line at Walmart with my young baby. It’s a holiday weekend, and the place is packed. I’ve been standing there about thirty minutes, and it’s almost my turn, when the man in front of me suddenly notices my baby and strikes up a conversation. He’s massively tall, middle-aged, with long, straggly gray hair, and has glasses with what looks like a wadded up napkin behind one of the lenses. Despite his odd appearance, we’re having a nice normal conversation. My baby starts to fuss, and I mention that I really need to get him home to feed him. At this, our conversation takes a disturbing turn. He casually mentions that he used to breastfeed when he was a cop in the Bronx. I think “There is no way he said what I think he said. I must have misheard him”. He then proceeds to go on and on about his life as a cop in the Bronx, and all the terrible child abuse he’s seen, and how he was a detective and they transferred him to this area. I smile and nod politely. He is clearly out of his mind. It’s almost my turn at the register, but I pretend I forgot something and politely excuse myself. Then I go stand in another line for half an hour.

Rachel – NH


5 Responses  
  • Emily writes:
    August 3rd, 201010:01 pmat

    ewwwwwwwww.

    • micah the admin writes:
      August 3rd, 201010:04 pmat

      yeah, rachel, what’s with you and attracting weird creepy guys? not much offense intended, josh.

  • Beth the Other Admin writes:
    August 3rd, 201010:11 pmat

    What did he mean? That is disturbing.

  • Tweets that mention back when i was a cop in the bronx | awkwardmemories.com -- Topsy.com writes:
    August 3rd, 201010:22 pmat

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by awkward memories, awkward stories, Micah , Micah Sewell, awkward memories and others. awkward memories said: a really weird walmart moment http://fb.me/G6GtvH6t [...]

  • Rachel writes:
    August 3rd, 201010:42 pmat

    Emily: Ewwwwww indeed.

    Micah: If Josh wasn’t so busy putting on his trench coat to go hang out at the toy store, he’d take offense at what you just wrote.

    Beth: He either meant he used to lactate and nourish babies, or the other icky alternative.


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